


Sometimes we dont need help, we're strong enough on our own

by KatjaT0720



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Homophobia, Human Experimentation, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Racism, Religious Guilt, im not good at angst bc i dont like it much so their wont be alot of it :)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:07:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatjaT0720/pseuds/KatjaT0720
Summary: They're spread all over the island, Dot was trying to find some food in the forest, Fatin was washing the group's clothes by the waterfall, Nora was probably already dead in the ocean for all they knew, Martha was walking along the beach, Leah was watching Rachel making sure that everything was alright and checking her temperature and pulse every few minutes to look if a fever was setting in.Everyone has been tensed since the incident. They hadn't talked about what happened with the Reid twins, everybody was still in shock from Rachel’s hand being a bit off and Nora dying.Just a story on how I think season 2 would go
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 16
Kudos: 100





	1. Reassurance and arrival

**Author's Note:**

> So this is basically how I think next season will go.  
> I haven't written a lot of fanfiction so grammar or word choice might not be the best.  
> have a nice read and comment what you think!

They were all over the island, Dot was trying to find some food in the forest, Fatin was washing the group's clothes by the waterfall, Nora was probably already dead in the ocean for all they knew, Martha was walking along the beach, Leah was watching Rachel making sure that everything was alright and checking her temperature every few minutes to look if a fever was setting in. 

Everyone was tense since the incident. They hadn't talked about what happened with the Reid twins, everybody was still in shock from Rachel’s hand being a bit off and Nora dying. 

Toni was on campfire duty, staring at the campfire just thinking. Why was Leah screaming Nora’s name? How are we going to keep Rachel alive? What if the wound gets infected? They didn’t have the antibiotics to fight that. 

She was also angry, at Martha for not shouting earlier, she knew it was dumb, Martha couldn’t have known she did nothing wrong. 

At Rachel for not hearing the shouting. 

But mostly at herself, she should have known not to get too comfortable, not to get attached, the only thing that came from that is hurt. She should have known better. 

Toni was deep in thought when Shelby came and sat beside her. ‘'You doin’ okay?’' she asks, trying to hide her concern, she had been looking at Toni for the last 10 minutes and was getting a bit concerned. 

‘'Nora is dead and Rachel is fighting for her life what do you think?’' Toni says, she knew she was being harsh, and she shouldn’t have said it the moment she saw the concern in Shelby’s face, she was just trying to help. 

‘'I'm sorry I didn’t mean to be mean, I'm okay as you could be right now,’' Toni said apologetically. 

‘'It okay, you didn’t mean to be mean, you're hotheaded and we just saw a friend dyin’ and the other lost her arm. I would be concerned if you were doin’ okay.’' Shelby says she wasn’t doing much better either, she just stood there, she did jack shit. She should have gone in there and helped find Nora seeing as Rachel crawled out of the water on her own. She just stood there, holding Dot back. She blamed herself for Nora’s death and even though she knew that she probably wouldn’t have been much help she still felt that way. 

* * *

Gretchen just stood in front of the screen and watched how the girls tended to Rachel and how Toni and Shelby were talking, faze 2 didn’t go as planned. Well part of it didn’t, they got Nora out before Leah could say anything, but they didn’t take notice of Rachel not being able to hear the other girl's shouts. 

They could seriously be sued for this even if they found evidence of any sort of crime to blackmail the Reid parents. 

Gretchen lets out a big and loud sigh when she sits down behind her desk to try and write the report for today. 

She writes about how good they had worked together to help Rachel and how they successfully got Nora out without any suspicion. She also writes about Toni’s and Shelby’s newfound romantic relationship and how they appeared to calm each other down. 

Gretchen looked over at the comes and say Shelby nuzzle up into Toni’s neck. She seemed a little upset, so Toni was whispering reassuring things to her. 

Gretchen decided that they needed their privacy and if they said anything important, she could always look it up in the archives. 

Her day was almost done, and night began to fall, she packed her stuff and went out of the building to go home. Nora would be there in the morning

* * *

All the girls were gathered around the campfire. It was dark and the fire was quite big, Shelby and Tonu had made a roof above it for if it rains. Dot had found some barries, so they had something to eat but nobody really had an appetite, but Dot had them at least something. 

‘'How’s she doing?’' Fatin asks, to nobody specifically, she had been worrying the whole time she was away. Is Rachel okay? Will she make it? Has the wound been infected? Questions like these keep going around her head. 

‘'She’s doing alright, she’s burning a but it hot, but a lot less than I thought she would. She might even make it if this continues.’' Leah answers calmly, she really doesn’t know how hot she should be but she things it isn't as bad as it could be. 

‘'That’s good, that’s good,’’ Fatin says, it's obvious that she’s worried and not sure what to do. 

‘'What are we going to do? Even if it’s a mild infection her hand is cut off even if she survives that she also must hear her sister is dead. I-I-I Nora s-s-should-d-n't ha-ave died s-she d-didn’t des-serve it.’' Martha says with a clump in her throat trying not to let the tears in her eyes spill. 

Toni gives her a side hug letting Martha spill her tears on her clothes, she doesn’t care if the tears land on her shirt she has clean dry ones now anyway. 

Shelby walked over, even if the other girls excluding Fatin think that she hates Toni she can't stand to see Martha cry, she has to do something but the only thing she can do now hugs them and hope it helps. 

When she surrounds Toni and Martha with her arms, she doesn’t only hear Martha cry, but she hears Toni sniffing quietly, which makes her eyes water, she doesn’t want Toni to cry it makes her sad and it's just the final straw that has her crying. 

She desperately tries to keep the tears in, but it doesn’t work they're already falling down her cheeks. 

Her daddy would be ashamed that she was crying about some black girl who didn’t deserve to be here anyway. He has said it before when her middle school friend died and she cried one her funeral, that’s when she realized that he was racist, but he excused it by saying that the girl wasn’t Christian. Even at such a young age, Shelby knew better, but she was young and loved her father, so she let it fall. Her mother said that it's okay to cry, her friend died she should be said. 

The second time he said something like this was at Becca’s funeral saying that she didn’t deserve a funeral after tainting her daughter with her disgusting kind and that she should be glad that she’s gone. 

It had fucked Shelby up bad, but she just brushed it off as her daddy being protective. 

Only now is she realizing how abusive he could sometimes be, but he’s still her daddy and would never hurt her on purpose. Right? 

* * *

Nora woke up in a dimly lit room and a killer headache. she was on a comfortable bed, its been so long since she has laid on a bed. Looking from her position laying not the bed she saw a desk with her notebook on it and a pen beside it on her left with her bed in the middle in front of her was the door just a bit to the left. On her right she saw her nightstand with a lamp on it, it's out right now. And to her far-right against the wall, she sees a bookshelf with about 20 books on it.

She didn’t know what was happening, she slowly sat up, it fucking hurt. Where am I? Why am I here? Where is Rachel? Wait? WHERE IS RACHEL!? 

She began franticly around her, breathing loudly. 

The door opened and Gretchen walked in with a man beside her. 

‘'My name is Dr. Daniel Faber, I’m a trauma specialist, I'm here to help if you need it, it must have been traum-’' Nora caught him off, she didn’t care her health wasn’t her priority right now. ‘'Where's Rachel? How is she doing?’' She said looking at Gretchen. 

‘'She’s doing okay now but we don’t know what will happen over time, we'll have to see,’' Gretchen says as calmly as she can, but she knows if this ends badly and Nora goes to the press or police they're done. 

‘'What do you mean okay now? What happened?!’' Nora said, worried when she jumped in the water, she couldn’t find Rachel and didn’t know what happened to her. 

Gretchen hesitantly looked at Daniel, not knowing if it's okay for her to tell Nora what happened to Rachel. He shakes his head, it wouldn’t go well if they told her, she wouldn’t cooperate if she knew what happened to her sister, they’ll have to tell her after they’ve heard everything they want to. 

‘'Nothing, just had some water in her pipes, shell be okay don’t worry,’' Gretchen says after looking back at Nora. 

Nora didn’t believe her but what could she do? She got herself into this, this was her own fault she should have just stayed home and gotten Rachel to help differently. 

Nora lay down silently and Gretchen and Dr. Faber walked out and slowly closed the door. 


	2. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is another chapter  
> PS. one of the characters uses They/Them pronounce just so you know

The water was cold Jack  jumped in with his diving suit. He can  discretely remember the conversation he had  with  Gret chen.

‘'I need you to get a shark ready, two  boots and three divers.’' Gretchen  had said when she came into the room. 

‘'Why?’' Jack had asked, he didn’t know why Gretchen would need a  shark, but you never know with  Gretchen. 

They were conducting a human experiment what did he expect.  he was just some  security guy; he didn’t have anything to do with the experiment. If this ever got exposed, they wouldn’t even bother saying his name. He ’ s insignificant . It angered him to some  extent, but it also kept him safe.

‘'Because we need to rescue Nora, Leah found out and Nora trapped her, but we can't take the risk. ’' Gretchen had said, Jack saw that she was in a  hurry, so he just did what she said and didn’t question it. 

That’s how he ended up in the water with Ezra, they were quite  known at his last job,  apparently, they were a big swimmer back in their high school and college. And Andrew, Andrew was an asshole, to say the  least, but he was good at his job, this was only a couple hour  operation so he could handle  him for now.

The shark was already released a bit closer to the island so that it wouldn’t escape. They all jumped i nto the water, they had to be quick otherwise they wouldn't have enough  oxygen .

After some  time swimming, the water was full of fish but the closer to the beach they came the less fish were swimming. they came close to the beach in some time , Ezra noticed  something floating , they went to check it  out. It was Nora floating  unconscious probably because of  oxygen deprivation , they needed to get her above the water and fast.

Ezra waved the other 2 over, together they swam far enough to not be spotted.

After Nora was on the boat Ezra and Jack went to the second boat to go and find the shark while Andrew went and brought Nora to  Gretchen.

It wasn’t long before they found the shark swimming away from the island, they  decided that the best way to do this is killing it .  They didn’t have any value for the shark anymore.

Ezra was better at aiming than Jack  was, so they decided to do it.

They had 2 options,  firearms which were  bad seeing as it was illegal, or a harpoon canon.

They  walked to the 90 mm cannons built by  Kongsberg Våpenfabrikk they use on Islan d for whale hunting , set the harpoon making sure the forerunner is  secured to the harpoon . They took out the gr e n a de from the transportation box then removed the  transport security lid and held on to the screw . T hey screw the grenade tight into the harpoon so that it is armed and ready to shoot.

And shot r ight in the head, killing the  shark. Jack was  quick to check if the grenade had exploded, it  had.

After taking the shark on board they were off back to base.

* * *

She has stared out to the beach for hours now, hadn't slept in days. Dot was beginning to be  concerned for Leah, she came on to the beach screaming Nora's name covered in blood and dirt.

They're on day twenty-five now, at least she had cleaned herself. Dot decided to go and talk to Leah maybe even found out she was screaming Nora’s  name; they were all curious Dot knew  it, but  nobody had asked yet.

‘'Hey,’' Dot  approached Leah from behind and sat down. ‘'Hey’' Leah didn’t even bother to look like she cared that Dot was there , she couldn’t trust anybody she trusted Nora, and look how that tuned out. It's not like they would believe her anyway especially not after just losing Nora.

‘'You doing okay? You're  kinda scaring  me. ’' Dot was really concerned, Leah had gone mad before but not like this, she hasn’t given an  explanation for anything that had happened and hasn’t  talked to anybod y, not even Shelby.

‘'None of your  business Dot,’' Leah says, she didn’t care if Dot was concerned it  wasn't the right time to tell her, she needs eviden ce to even consider telling them. She  can't . 

Leah just walked away, silently. She was hiding something, and Dot knew it. But was is she going to so?  F ollo w her? That’s not going to work Leah is too paranoid not to notice someone following her.

She ’ ll just lookout , for now, they have more to worry about, Dot went to Rachel and saw Toni there watching R achel and making sure she’s okay.

‘'I’ll take over you can take a  break .’' Dot says as she  approached.

Toni looks at her with bags under her eyes, she just nods and walks away.

When Dot sits down and looks  around, she sees Leah walk into the forest,  probably to cool down she looked quite upset whe n Dot asks the  question .

Leah  goes  for a walk through the  forest . Deciding to go to the place she saw Nora talking maybe she could find  something.

* * *

Alex had to do the dirty work again, he was sick of it. He was just as much of an employee as Linh. He always knew Gretchen loved and adored her but she didn’t have to  him like a fucking dog, not one of those dogs she takes care of. She treated him like a fucking piece of shit that could be  thrown away at any moment. Jack, Andrew, and Ezra got to kill a shark for fuck s  sake and he had to get rid of a fucking camera. He’s surprised that Gretchen even let him do this considering the last time he was on the island.

He walked through the forest walky-talky in hand, they couldn’t have anybody see him they don’t want the same thing that happened on day 16.

He was supposed to go to the tree where the camera was and remove it before Leah came back and sees it. 

Walking to the tree he got out his tools and went to work after everything is done, he only must cover the whole up. 

Taking out the glue and metal plate he brought with him he made sure to cover it up and glued some bark from a nearby tree he ripped it off.

Just when he has everything put  away, he hears footsteps and mumbling in the far distance...

* * *

Shelby needed some time alone to think, it's not that she doesn’t like the girls she just  can't talk to them right now. 

Maybe Toni was right, Maybe Jesus was just a population tool, maybe she was ashamed, but why? She has  accepted that she likes girls  but why does she feel guilt every time she thinks about  Toni when Toni  isn't around.

She doesn’t feel guilty when she's with Toni, but why does she feel guilty when Toni isn't around?  Every time she replays the  kisses sh e had with Toni she feels so conflicted. She feels butterflies in her stomach no matter how much she thinks about  it, but she also feels s o dirty and  disgusting .

She knows why she feels  guilty, but she  doesn’t want to  admit it. He’s her dad she would never do something like that on  purpose to her, he didn’t know what would happen. He was just tr ying to help her.

‘'He  wouldn't do that’' she mumbled the whole time she walks through the forest.

‘'He wouldn't do that, he wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t do that.’' she kee ps  mumbling until she spots something.

Branches were broken all over the ground, she didn’t know anybody was here. In front of her was a tree and something that looks like a  seat. Something someone would sit on. She knows Nora used to spend a lot of time in the forest maybe she was her those times to get some time alone.

She should probably head back maybe talk to Toni. She could have some answers, she had gone  through this before. Maybe she had some advice to help her.

She walked  through the forest and along the beach before she  spots Toni at the spot when they talked about Hades , she chuckles at the memory. She was so annoying back then.

‘'Hey.’' Just a single word, that’s all it takes to get Shelby’s heart to  speed up. She’s so gone.

‘'Hey,’' Shelby says as she sits down. ‘'I think you were right.’'

‘'Which part?’' Toni  responds with a smirk on her face.

‘'That I might be ashamed, well I think I am I just don’t know why.’' The second Toni hears this her smirk is replayed by a  slightly concerned face.

‘'well... my guess is internalized homophobia. Everybody has at le ast some of  it when they first figure themselves out Shelby ,  it's perfectly normal.’' Toni  explains , she had some of it when she first figured  out, she liked girls, even denied liking them at al l for some time.

Shelby sits there for a few seconds thinking about what Toni just said. She thinks about Toni experiencing it, wondering if it’s the s ame for her, she thinks about why even when she knows the answer, she still feels guilty. ‘'Did you ever  get rid of it? ’' That is what she  finally settles on saying.

‘'Nah, not  completely , it's far  less than it  used to  be, and I don’t really feel guilty  anymore, but I  d o sometimes just wish I was normal. That I  didn’t like girls.’' Toni says. Shelby  can't figure out the  expression on her face or the tone in her voice but she’s probably  reliving thinks people had said to her beca use she liked girls.

‘'Toni, if it's not too much to ask ho w’d you figure out you liked girls?’' Shelby really wants to know. ‘'You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want,  I'm just  curious .’' Shelby  quickly says she doesn’t want to  pressure Toni into saying something she doesn’t want to.

‘' Well, when I think back, I see a lot of girls I had crushes on,’' Toni says with a bitter  chuckle. ‘'But the day I realized that I liked girls was the day I  watched season 3 episode 7 of the 100’' Toni chuckles loudly.

‘'What happened in that episode?’' Shelby says cluelessly.

‘'Well in season 2 Lexa  gets introduced , she’s the  hugest power in the Grounders society and a badass.  Ever since she’s been introduced there has been sexual tension . In that episode Clarke, the other girl, and Lexa finally have sex. They’ve kissed before but never gone further. It's my favorite but also the worst episode.’' Toni says. Shelby can hear some bitterness in her voice.

‘' why’s that?’' Shelby is  really curious, why would that be the worst episode if something like that happened?

‘'Titus, one of Lexa’s  advisers , shoots Lexa  in an attempt to  kill Clarke .’' Toni says. ‘'it's so dumb but  I'm still a bit mad about it.’'

Shelby chuckles. ‘'Yeah that a bit dumb.’'

They sit there in silence for a time just staring at each other . After a while, Shelby leans forward kissing Toni softly. ‘'Thank you.’'

‘'For what?’' Toni  asks with a smile on her face.

‘'For not giving up on me, even when I was so horrible to you.’'

‘'It  isn't your  fault, it was how  you were raised. You should thank yourself for  seeing what you did wrong and trying to change it.’'

Shelby didn’t know what to respond to it so she just hugged Toni and  thanked her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I reference Clexa because I'm still not over it and it will definitely not going to happen in the show but I wrote it so what do you expect :)


	3. Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some conversations are had, Gretchen is gaslighting and agent Young has a talk with Gretchen

Walking through the forest wasn’t the problem, finding the tree was. Leah has been walking for 2 hours now she can't remember where she went and how to find the tree. It's going to be dark soon and she’s going to give up when she finds the tree. 

There are broken branches on the ground. There has definitely someone been here. 

But it could still be Nora who broke them so it's not enough. Leah walks to the tree she remembered Nora talking to. Everything is completely normal, no camera, nothing. They probably already removed it. 

Leah screams in frustration. ‘'FUUUCCCKKKK!’' thinking nobody is in range to hear it. 

Proven mistaken Shelby shows up. ‘'You doin’ okay?’' 

‘'Yeah, I'm fine.’' 

‘'You don’t look fine. Nobody would scream that word so loudly if they were fine.’' Shelby says with her eyebrow raised. 

Leah stayed silent for some time. ‘'come on tell me’' Shelby walks over to Leah being about 2 meters away from Leah. 

Maybe Leah could trust Shelby, she's was also accused of being crazy, maybe she would believe her. It was unlikely but she had to talk to someone before everybody thinks she’s nuts. 

‘'I think someone put us here and keeps us here.’' 

‘'What do you mean, that’s crazy. Did you just hear yourself? You think that someone went this far to crash our plane and keep u-’' Leah cut her off ‘'I know it sounds crazy but just looks at the coincidences, we crashed on the plane in the middle of nowhere, no communications, and Jeannette had two phones and she didn’t even talk about it. We found a medical kit out of nowhere, A plane flew by and it noticed us, and nobody came. I saw Nora talking to a tree about me founding too much. Those can't all be coincidences and you know it!’' Leah says almost shouting at the end. 

‘'Leah, please calm down you're not doin’ okay. Planes crash everywhere, maybe Jeannette didn’t know that she had the second phone, there has to be some explanation for it but it's bizarre to think it's because of some complex organization setting this up. The medical kit could have been from the plane. You were drunk when you heard Nora that could have easily been a hallucination you had been drinking a lot.’' It’s literally insane to think this could all be set up, maybe Leah was turning insane. 

‘'Martha literally saw someone’' Leah really had to get the point across, why wouldn’t Shelby believe her? There are too many coincidences, it's so obvious. Why wouldn’t she just get it? 

‘'She was high, like really high. And we found Marcus there.’' Shelby explains. 

Shelby just wouldn’t get it. There must be something, she just couldn’t believe that this was all a bunch of bad luck. 

‘'Yeah, sure keep believing that,’' Leah said bitterly and just walks away. 

The only thing Shelby can do is stare after her. 

* * *

Walking through the long corridor's agent Young stops In front of the door the girl Nora was supposed to stay. 

Agent Young opens the door and there sits the girl Nora. She was huddled up on the bed, she didn’t look okay. Looking around he saw a desk with the notebook on it, the girl’s bed, and the door to her toilet. 

‘'Are you okay?’' Agent Young approaches slowly. 

Nora’s head shot up looking at agent Young with an unreadable look on her face. 

‘'Yeah, I’m fine, just worried about Rachel.’' Nora looks back at the desks after she finished her sentence. 

‘'She’ll be fine.’' Agent Young reassures her before sitting next to her. 

‘'What really happened to her? I know Gretchen is lying. Is she at least alive?’' Nora can't imagine what her life would be without her sister, Rachel has been in her life her entire life and been there for all of it. 

‘'She’s alive don’t worry.’' Agent Young said getting Nora out of her thoughts. ‘'But I'm not here to talk, Gretchen wanted me to cum and pick up your book. Have you written in it since you arrived?’' 

‘'More like abducted, but no I haven't written anything. Everything that happened on the island is in the book. Could you please leave I'd like some time on my own?’' Nora looked at agent Young hoping he’d leave; she wouldn’t talk until she gets to see Rachel. 

‘'Okay, get some rest.’' He said after he took the notebook and walked out the door. 

After agent Young was done, he went to Gretchen’s desk, it didn’t take long for him to get here. 

Gretchen was sitting at her desk, filling out some papers. She didn’t look concerned. 

‘'Hello, I got what you asked for.’' Agent Young says as he approaches. 

‘'Good there could be some useful information in there, leave it on my desk. Thank you, agent Young.’' Gretchen says without even looking up to him, staying focused on her paper. But agent Young wouldn’t budge without answers. ‘'You can leave now,’' Gretchen says impatiently. 

‘'Why did you take Nora off the island?’' It was a sudden question Gretchen didn’t want to answer yet. Young was far too sympathetic to these girls it would get in the way if he didn’t fix it fast. 

‘'Because Leah was far too soon to find out. Now they’ll think that she’s even more nuts.’' How could Gretchen be so calm about making a child think she’s crazy. 

‘'So, you're gaslighting her? That’s not okay and you know it!’' Young shouted anger rushing through him, these girls didn’t deserve this, they didn’t sign up for this neither did their parents. 

‘'I suggest you lower your voice agent Young. And there was no other way we could even if we didn’t get her out of there stage 2 could never begin. They wouldn’t trust each other and think they're all against them.’' Gretchen slowly tilts her head up looking into Young’s eyes. ‘'She had to get out of there. Leah told Shelby, luckily Shelby dismissed her.’' 

Agent Young huffed and left the room without saying anything. 

This was ridiculous, Leah is going to think she’s crazy. She'll just get more paranoid. 

Back on the island Shelby and Toni are walking around the coastline, they already did their thing for today, they were tired, in about 3 hours the sun was going to go down and they’ll have to head back. 

They were walking around on the beach when they stopped on a spot where no one could see them. Sitting on the sand Shelby was the first to break the silence. 

‘'I wanted to tell you somethin’. My daddy always told me that when you talk about somethin’ it helps.’' Shelby says slowly. Toni told her about the first time she realized she liked girls, so she wanted to tell hers too. 

‘'Okay, you don’t have to tell me if you're not comfortable.’' Toni doesn’t want her to feel pressured to tell her whatever she wanted to tell. 

‘'No, I want to.’' Shelby says quickly, wanting to go on before she changes her mind. ‘'Do you remember when I told you I've hurt people before.’' 

Toni nods silently. 

‘'I used to have a best friend; her name was Becca. She had blue eyes and brown wavy hair. One day I was fittin’ a dress for a pageant, we were laughin’, and I kissed her.’' 

Well, that certainly drew a gasp from Toni. 

‘'My dad walks in on us right after. After Becca left, her parents called my dad, assumin’ I already told my dad she told him. I didn’t tell him, after hearing that he ignored me for a while until I lied and said she kissed me and that I would never do that.’' Shelby had to take a deep breath before she could continue, she wasn’t going to cry, not now. ‘' She came to my house and told me she didn’t do it on purpose, I told her so many bad things. I told her that it was her fault what happened to her and it wasn’t, I told her she wanted me to live a miserable life as she had.’' The lump in her throat was beginning to slip. ‘'The day of the pageant...’' Tears began rolling down Shelby’s cheeks. ‘'… people kept giving me condolences, I didn’t even know what happened until I found out...’' She was crying her eyes out by now. ‘'… S-she killed herself.’' 

Toni stood up and sat in front of Shelby. Shelby was too ashamed to look at her let alone say something. 

‘'Hey, look at me please?’' Shelby never heard Toni saying something this soft the whole time she knew her. 

Shelby looked up with a guilty expression. “It's not your fault, yes you said horrible things but isn't you that is the cause, from what you told me she already had problems that she hadn’t dealt with yet. You can't know what happened even if you said those things. Other people could have hurt her and drive her to it.’' 

Toni slowly reached up and stroked her cheeks before pulling her into a warm hug. The only thing Shelby could do is cry on her shoulder letting everything out. She still blames herself and feels guilty, but it's a lot better now that she talked about it. 

After some time they decided to head back to camp, it would become dark soon. 

Meanwhile, Shelby and Toni were talking Dot was sitting by the campfire, she’d brought wood from the forest, so they don’t have to go for at least another two days. 

‘'Hey, fuckface.’' Fatin says as she sits down. 

‘'I really have to get a nickname for you too.’' Dot responds with a smile. 

‘'I mean you can try,’' Fatin smirks like the little shit she. 

‘'What about Wildshitter?’' As Dot responds Fatin's smirk falls and is replaced by a grimace. ‘'That’s the worst nickname I've ever heard.’' 

‘'not true!’' 

‘'Maybe it's better if you just keep calling me by my name.’' 

‘'Yeah, maybe it is.’' 

The moment they stop Toni and Shelby shows up. 

‘'Hey, what y’all doin’?’' 

‘'Just talking not much, I think you should go and watch Rachel Martha has been there for fucking hours now, she must be looking like shit right now.’' 

‘'Yeah, that’s a good idea,’' Toni says with a small smile appearing on her lips before walking away with Shelby. 

Martha has been sitting by Rachel for hours now if she doesn’t switch with someone, she might actually fall asleep. 

‘'Fatin was right, you don’t look like you're doin’ so well’' Martha can hear Shelby say when she’s approaching. 

‘'I’m fine, just a bit tired.’' 

Both girls sat down with Martha. ‘'How’s she doin’?’' Shelby asks referring to Rachel. 

‘'She’s not doing well, a fever has set in, so the wound is probably infected but I’m not a specialist so I can't be a hundred precent sure. I don’t think she’s going to make it.’' Martha says with a guilty expression. She really can't be sure but it's not looking good for Rachel, they don’t have antibiotics, and Rachel lost a limb, at least they could stop the bleeding. 

‘'So you're sayin’ she gonna die if we don’t find medicine?’' Shelby says, she can't imagine losing not one but two of the girls. 

‘'Medication, maybe even some alcohol or something because that’s running out, maybe we could find some plants or something?’' Martha says in desperation. 

‘'We don’t know what to look for.’' Toni is turning more and more angry by the seconds. 

‘'Hey, hey Toni look at me,’' Shelby says but Toni can't hear it her vision is turning red and she want to punch something. 

She’s snapped out of it by Shelby grabbing her face and making Toni look at her. ‘'I need you to calm down okay. Being angry is not the solution, it just gonna hold you down more. Follow me, in, and out. In, and out. In, and out.’' they go for a while like this, but it isn't really helping for Toni, she’s definitely calmer but still pretty pissed so after Shelby lets go of her, she walks off wanting to have some time alone. 

Shelby doesn’t even try to go after her, she knows Toni needs some time alone she’ll come to talk to Shelby when she wants too. 

* * *

Seeing Rachel Gretchen knows she won’t make it if she doesn’t get medical help soon. She won't let another girl die; she has to at least do something. 

She calls both Dr. Fiber and agent Young in addition she calls Docter Jonshon, a new medical doctor they hired if anything goes wrong, she’d rather not have another girl's blood on her hands. 

Within 20 minutes all of them have arrived. 

‘'Alright, I need a solution. I don’t think Rachel’s going to make it.’' Gretchen sighs. ‘'We need something there; do we send Doctor Jonshon or just sent some antibiotics? If we sent antibiotics it will just give Leah more evidence to convince the other girls that they're in an experiment, we can have that.’' 

‘'No, we can’t, I would say sent me. We can pretend I’m a ship that comes by then I help Rachel and get out to ‘get help’.’' Dr. Jonshon says with finger quotes. ‘'Then when I’m gone, we can let things wash up the shore that makes it look like the ship sinks.’' 

‘'Good idea. We’re going with that.’' Gretchen says impatiently. They can't wait for long. 

‘'You’re just going to do that, no thought in any of it?’' Agent Young asks, he can't imagine just doing something without thinking It through. There can go so many things wrong. 

‘'Yes, and you won’t question it. We’re done here.’' 

* * *

It’s day thirty by now and they have to do something about Nora’s stuff, her food, clothes, everything. Nora’s not coming back, and they can't keep walking around in grief. They have to do something; they can't keep being unproductive. They're on an island, not a civilization. 

They all sat around the fire; they were low on wood someone had to look for wood soon. 

Martha and Toni sat next to each other, and to Martha’s left sat Fatin. Shelby was on Rachel's duty; it sounds bad but it's just making sure Rachel’s okay and not a seizure because if she does, they're fucked. 

‘'We have to snap out of this, I get that you're sad, but we have to do something, we can't keep sitting around. Nora didn’t die for us to die too.’' Dot says after everybody wakes up. 

‘'Dot it's only been a week, how are you just expecting us to do something?’' Martha says, how could Dot just think they should be okay after this? Nora just dies. 

‘'I'm not saying be okay again, I'm saying we should at least still try to live, not just sit around doing nothing. We have to do something with Nora’s food and drinks, and we should make a better shelter. There must be animals around seeing as we saw one, if we catch them, we might even get to breed them, make mire meat.’' 

‘'You're saying we should divide Nora’s stuff? Rachel doesn’t even know that her sister is dead.’' Fatin counters. 

‘'No, I'm saying we should divide her food and drinks. Her personal stuff is Rachel’s, but we can't just give everything to Rachel because Nora was her sister.’' 

‘'Okay,’' Toni says without a second thought. 

‘'What the fuck Toni!?’' Fatin says with betrayal in her eyes. 

‘'I agree with Dot we can't go on like this, we have to do something. We can't keep doing this. I get that you don’t want to divide her stuff and I agree, we shouldn’t but you can't say that we should keep laying around doing nothing.’' 

‘'Fine,’' Fatin says reluctantly and walks off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently you can have seizures from infections and low blood pressure, never knew that.


	4. suspicion and rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls get hope and Shelby and Toni have a heart to heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little short but I'm working on a hopefully very long crossover with The Wilds and one of my other favorite lesbian couple :)

They all wake up around the same time. Fatin was up all night, looking after Rachel and keeping the fire going. Fatin went to bad as fast as possible, she was tired as hell and fell asleep within ten minutes. 

Leah was walking on the beach when she saw something on the water. It was a boat, wait... IT WAS A FUCKING BOAT! 

Leah began screaming trying to get their attention, Shelby heard her screaming and began running to her thinking she was going bazurk again. Then she saw the boat too, she stayed silent, petrified, was she going back? Does she even want to? Her parents would never let her see Toni or any of the other girls. 

It's already too late, the ship is coming to the island and after a couple of minutes it's onshore. Toni, Fatin, Dot, and Martha are already there. 

"HEY, HEY, HEY we need help.'' Dot says to the woman that comes from the boat. 

''where do you need help?.'' the woman was too calm for Leah's liking, she just saw multiple dirty girls on a deserted island. How could she be this calm? She can only be this calm if she knew that they were here. 

''We have a wounded do you have any medication?'' 

Shelby was still petrified, breathing fast and heavy like she's about to have a panic attack; she's only snapped out of it when Toni lays a hand on her shoulder. ''You okay?'' 

''Yeah, I'm fine.'' Shelby doesn’t sound genuine, she doesn’t even look at Toni, it's like it’s an automatic response. 

''Come on they'll take care of Rachel.'' Toni had to get Shelby away to at least calm down. 

Toni leads Shelby away into the woods to help her calm down. 

* * *

The woman from the boat gets a medical kit and says she's a doctor and can help. 

''Alright can you tell me what happened?'' the doctor asks. 

''She was swimming in the water and then a shark attacked her, biting her arm off,'' Martha says. ''She came out of the water herself.'' 

''A shark? Damn... How long ago was she bitten?'' ''8 days ago.'' ''What have you done to make sure she doesn’t die?'' ''We've tried to sterilize the wound and stop the bleeding, but she still got an infection.'' The doctor sighs. 

''I can't do much, the wound is closed, I can give you as much off antibiotics as I can and some medication against seizures if she gets any.'' 

''Well, that’s a relief.'' Dot sighs in relief. They had some hope. 

''Can I ask how you all still have smooth legs? you've been here for over a month now.'' The doctor was curious apparently. 

Leah's suspicion increases even more, how does she know that they've been here for a month, they haven't said anything about how long they've been here. 

''We found some razors in Martha's and Fatin's luggage.'' 

''Yah fucking amazing, I said I wasn’t one for essentials'' Fatin had a smirk on her face but the doctor didn’t look so happy. 

''Can one of us go with you?'' Leah had to be sure that the doctor wouldn't just go and make it look like the boat crashed. 

''I don’t have enough room, food, or water to take someone with me sorry.'' 

Leah doesn’t believe any of it. But she can't look like crazy again, Shelby didn’t believe her let alone any of the other girls. They won't keep them here forever. Eventually, she'll let the other girls know. 

''alright'' it's just a single word but even the doctor can hear the suspicion and sarcasm. 

The doctor goes back to her boat and gets some medication. ''Here you go, I'll be back.'' 

''You'll get help?'' Fatin sounds desperate like she has something to go back to. 

''I'll be back.'' the doctor has a friendly smile on her face, but Leah knows it's all bullshit, She's in on this whole thing. She doesn’t say anything, and the doctor is off to get some 'help'. 

* * *

Walking through the forest isn't the nicest thing, especially when there is someone on the beach who might be able to get them out of here but Shelby goes first. 

Toni stops them and sits them both down. Shelby is still breathing heavy but not as bad as when she took her away from the beach. 

''Hey, breathe okay?'' Toni begins breathing evenly, trying to get Shelby to breathe with her. 

After a couple of minutes Shelby is breathing evenly, in a breaking voice she says, ''I'm sorry.'' 

''Hey, don't be sorry it's not your fault, you didn't do anything. It's your parents that should be sorry. When we get out of here, I'll send letters to Dot, maybe she could bring them to you without your parents knowing.'' That was Toni's plan, but she still had to say it to Dot though... 

''I don’t want to go back Toni.'' Tears stream down her face, her voice breaking like Toni hadn't heard before. 

''Hey, it's okay, you can always run away. I've done it a couple of times before.'' That causes Shelby to chuckle a bit, although it’s a very bitter and sad one. 

''That's harder than you think, especially if your father is a very respected church member.'' She had thought of it before, but she knows that she'll be found and sent back then having to face even worst punishment than if she'd stayed. 

Facing Toni again she hugs her as strong as she can, breaking down. 

Shelby's tears make Toni's shirt wet, but she doesn't care, if it makes Shelby fears better, she'll wear wet clothes forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .


	5. Search

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group tries to get some food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much happened in this chapter but I had to write something :)

Day thirty-two,  it's been a day since the  doctor arrived, they didn’t even know her  fucking  name,  it's j ust  doctor. Fatin had been walking to the beach to wash, it had been some days since she washed when she noticed something floating in the water, it didn’t look like anything Fatin had seen on the water.

So naturally, she swims to it, brings it to the beach, calls the others, and then looks what it is, not the best way but she'll think about that later.

When they were all there, they opened it, nobody recognized it before they opened it. It was a metal case, more like a chest it just didn’t look like  an original one.

What was inside did shock them. It was the medical case the doctor used when she came on the island and helped Rachel, she did her job and helped Rachel,  she's doing much better but now it  appeared that the doctor was gone just like the pilot. 

It didn’t look like a  coincidence to Leah though, who  knows for certainty now that someone kept them in here. It couldn’t all be a  coincidence ,  that's insane, landing here  completely fine in the ocean with  an island right there was a  coincidence enough and then have Martha see someone and all the other  instances couldn't be  coincidences and Leah was going to prove it.

After looking in the medical kit and taking it back to the place where Rachel was asleep, they all gathered around the fire.

Rachel was getting better, it would take some time for her to be completely right, but she was better than she was before. Her temperature was going down, and she slept more, she still didn’t talk to anyone but at least she didn’t groan all the time.

''She's getting better, maybe she'll even stand in a couple of days.'' Martha seemed a bit  relieved , she'd stayed up multiple nights and her sleep  schedule was  a  mess, but she was  curtain Rachel was alright, she had to be.

''That’s good.  Y'all have been getting be t ter, I even found a place where the other goats might be.'' Shelby had a slight smile on her face, it wasn't like she was super happy and wanted to stay in this situat ion  forever, but it was getting better, they might not be rescued but Rachel was getting better as Martha said and they might be able to get  cheese , breed the goats and get meat. Then they  wouldn’t have to look for food they would have it at the ready.

''I could help you catch them, Toni you'll help too.''  Fatin wanted to do something, she was bored getting wood all the time , helping find goats might be it. You never know.

''Wait for what?'' Toni  was playing with sand when she heard her name, she hadn't really listened to the conversation, still processing that they weren't going to get rescued. She just  shrugged . ''O kay.''

''What do you guys think that happened to the doctor.  Somethin ' must-have, she wouldn’t just leave a medical kit behind in a container.'' 

''It's from a  yacht , you put things in it to keep it safe. The ship probably s unk . Maybe we are in the  Bermuda triangle.'' Fatin fake gasped like it was confirmed, i t was  confirmed that they were fucked.

''It  wouldn't surprise me.'' It was the first thing Leah said since the moment she woke up,  it's like she's in some sort of trance, always thinking and not caring what happened around  her, at least that's what Dot thought.

'' Well, we're not getting rescued anytime soon,  luckily we didn’t eat all our  rations .'' The  tone was  sobered , they are stuck here for over a month.

'' Yeah, we learned that from last time.''

''I'll stay with Rachel.  Fatin , Shelby, and Toni are going to look for the goats , take some lychees, goats will follow you if you have fruit . Then I think  it's fair that Leah and  Dot are going to build something where we can keep the go ats.'' Martha wanted everything to be done as fast as possible, she was done  having to look for food.

They both agreed,  too tired to even disagree.

Shelby, Toni, and  Fatin walked away into the forest, they stayed silent when they walked away.

* * *

They walked into the forest, Shelby first then Toni, and then  Fatin looking for the place where the goats might be. They kept walking up trying to find the goats. I t was  surprisingly hard, far harder than expected.

So, they decided to talk for a while. 

''Alright, should we do an ice breaker?'' Shelby always liked ice  breakers because why not. 

''Why would we do that ? we know each other already.''  Fatin had her doubts but who cares.

''What do you suggest?'' Toni could see why Shelby would want to do an ice breaker, it would be even more boring  otherwise anyway, they were just walking.

''Truth or Dare.'' Shelby wanted to do something new, she'd never done this  game, but it could be fun, nobody was looking anyway.

''Alright, truth or dare Toni.''  Fatin had a smirk on her  face and Toni didn’t like it.

''Truth,'' Toni said it slowly, hopefully,  Fatin wasn’t going to  embarrass her in front of Shelby.

''Who and when was your first kiss ?'' She still had a smirk on her face. 

''Girl at my school, her name was Regan.'' Easy answer, it wasn’t embarrassing or  weird, so it was a win.

''Hmmm, interesting.'' The fucking smirk was still on her face and it was beginning to annoy Toni.

''Alright, then I'll ask you when  was your first kiss ?'' This was so petty, who knew Toni was so  petty ? 

''12, some dude in my school, so annoying. He was a good kisser though. Now  it's my turn again. Shelby, truth or dare.'' 

''Truth.'' Why was Fatin smirking, did Shelby do something stupid?

''Did you masturbate while on this island.'' Now Fatin's smirk turned into a grin. The fricking biatch.

Shelby remembered the first time she ever did it, and  luckily her parents  weren't home that night, she  hadn't done it ever since , at least when she hadn't been stranded on  an island with a scorching hot girl.

''I have.'' She tried to keep her voice even and her face not red. God this was  embarrassing now she understands why Fatin was smirking.

''So, who was it about?'' Her grin hadn't even dimmed a little.

''None of your  business .'' 

''Okay.'' Fatin just backed down, that’s weird she didn’t usually do that.

''Did you just back off?'' 

Fatin just  rolled her eyes and continued walking while Toni and Shelby made eye contact both surprised by how fast Fatin backed off.

It wasn’t long before they came across two  goats , now they just had to get them with them and in the cage or fence or whatever Dot and Leah made.

Shelby took out the lychees she had taken with her to lure the goats.

It took some  time, but they got the goats out of the woods eventually, it was almost dark outside  already, so Dot and Leah were already done with the fence. 

It took about another hour before they had the goats in the fence, it wasn’t much but at least they had animals now  let's just hope that one is male and one i s female, or both are female so they can make milk.


	6. Rising and seeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel wakes up and we get an update on Nora.

Waking up wasn’t the nicest thing you could imagine, she used to love waking up, waiting a couple of min u tes in your warm bed before getting ready, she could rarely do it back then but living here you could  appreciate everything back in the normal world.

Rachel groaned in pain , she can't  exactly remember what happened, she was in the  w ater and then a stinging pain came, she swam to the shore and from there she can't remember anything.

''Hey, SHE'S AWAKE!'' Rachel could hear Shelby shouting to what she can only assume is the rest of the group.

''Is she like awake half asleep in pain or awake  awake ?'' of course Fatin would be the one to be sarcastic.

''Can you say something Rachel?'' 

''Wah?'' Her voice was soft and quiet but they could hear her.

''See.''

''Shelby can I talk to you for a sec?'' Dot didn’t look so  well,  physically she was fine but something was going on and they didn’t want her to know.

''Yeah sure.'' Her tone was a bit unassertive and wasn’t really  an answer but also not a question.

Shelby walked over to Dot to a place Rachel wouldn’t be able to hear them.

''What's  goin ’ on?''

''It's not going to be long before she's going to find out that Nora isn't here.'' It wasn’t even a  question , it was just a fact and they all knew i t.

''Yeah,'' Shelby sighed, she didn’t know what to do either. The obvious  answer was to  tell her but what will happen then? She lost not only her arm  but also her sister. ''What should we do? The only thing we can do is tell her.''

''How would you do that?'' It wasn’t like you could just say 'hey your sister is dead', it wouldn’t help Rachel's situation, at least Dot thinks so.

''Just tell her, we  can't do  anythin ' else so we'll have to tell her when she asks, try to avoid the topic as long as possible but don’t lie to her, that will just make it worst.''

''Okay.'' They had to do this eventually.

When they returned  Rachel was talking to the other, she didn’t look so great and was looking at her hand, she had probably just been told that she lost her hand. No more swimming.

She looked sad but didn’t  vocally say anything.

''What were you guys talking about?'' Her tone wasn't angry more like she wanted to  accuse them of something, like hiding her  sister's death, she wasn’t wrong.

''Just some things.''

''Where is Nora? I haven't seen her  around; she would be the first to come here.''

''Nora, she ah... She's dead,'' Shelby and Dot avoided eye contact, ''She went after you but didn’t come back. ''

''What? Why didn’t you go after her!'' Rachel was angry now, they were with 6  others , they could've gone after her.

''We had to help you, we thought she might be able to get back on her own, not to mention there was a shark in the water.''

Rachel just scoffed and tried to stand up, it took a while but she got up eventually. She walked away, Le ah tried to stop her, calling out to Rachel but Rachel didn’t stop, she just ignored Leah.

She couldn’t believe they just left Nora, they could've at least tried, they just left her sister, like Rachel mattered more than Nora did.

Rachel couldn't stay away forever but she can try as long as she can.

* * *

Its day thirty-four already, Gretchen was done, Nora had enough time to sort everything out. Rachel woke up today so she could show Nora she was okay  and that should be enough right?

Opening the door Nora was reading a book behind her desk, ''Hey Rachel woke up.''

''I thought she was okay.'' Nora's expression still wasn’t readable, it was like a poker face.

''She is.'' Nora just hummed in response. ''You can see her now.''

Nora stood up and walked with Gretchen to the screens, nothing was said during this walk but there was tension, Gretchen couldn’t really make out what kind of tension but it  didn’t feel like a nice  one.

The screen  switched to a camera nearby the place Rachel sat,  tactically positioned so as not to show Rachel's  nonexistent hand. It would just make things worst if Nora saw what happened to Rachel, they'll figure out a way to  get  away with this.

Nora hummed again, it scared Gretchen a bit that she didn’t talk, not a word. 

''Would you like to see the other?'' Gretchen cringed inwardly at how polite she  sounded; Nora was supposed to be a friend, not so me  employee .

''No, I'm okay. Can we leave now?''

''Sure, we can talk let me get Dr. Faber.''  Finally, she gets her to talk, they need to know something.

'' No, I would rather not talk today, come back  tomorrow .'' Nora knew how much power she has, if she doesn’t want to  talk, they'll get nothing.

''Okay.'' Gretchen walked Nora back to the room Nora was staying in, it looked like they cleaned a bit, the floor was cleaner and the bed was made, the toilet was  probably cleaned as well.

Gretchen closed the door after  bedding goodbye to Nora.

She walked back to her office if this failed the whole experiment is going to fall apart. She still had to find a way to stop the  Reid parents not to sue them. 

Messaging her biggest sponsor for a solution maybe wasn’t the best idea, especially if she was someone who clearly didn’t really care for the grou p.

Her advice was that if Nora didn’t give the information Gretchen wanted, Gretchen would have to get it out of her. 

And then it dawned on her, she was implying that if Nora didn’t tell her Gretchen would have to torture Nora...

Quickly shutting down her laptop she left the office, she had to sleep on this, the report can wait, she can do it home.

* * *

Sitting alone with only her  imagination was nice but still a bit scary, you could think about all that was on your mind but you could al so go  too far, overthinking simple situations.

Looking along the beach Rachel decided to go back,  she couldn’t stay there all the time, she had to back eventually.

When she came back to the camp was rather quiet, she saw a fence of sorts that she didn’t notice when she woke up and walked away.

''Hey, I'm sorry I was so angry I just needed some time.'' She didn’t forgive them yet but she understood why they didn’t go after Nora at the time.

''It's okay everyone has their bad times.'' Shelby  was always the one to be  optimistic , the rest wasn’t as forgiving but it didn’t look like they held a grudge.

''It's okay you just heard your sister was dead.'' Fatin was really sorry for Rachel, she was just getting a better relationship with her sister and now she finds out her sister is d ead.

''Yeah.'' Sitting down at the campfire her hand began to i t ch, she had some i t ching when she woke up and sat alone but it wasn’t that bad, it didn’t hurt it was just annoying but now it began to hurt. She couldn’t do anything for it though, her hand wasn’t there anymore so she decided to ignore it for a while.

They had been talking sometimes even joking although the jokes were light and a bit cautious , all of it was nice, it had gone back to  relatively normal, Nora wasn’t here but it distracted her from what happened for a w hile.

Until her hand began to hurt, like really hurt. ''Guys, m y hand hurts.'' 

''What do you mean?'' Fatin had gone from her conversation with Dot to say something to Rachel.

''Like it began to itch a bit when I woke up but I just ignored it because it wasn’t that bad but now it's really beginning to hurt.'' She wanted it gone so badly, it's like having a knife in your hand but you couldn’t  pull it out.

''Sounds like phantom pain to me.'' Martha hadn't really spoken to Rachel yet, she said hi and talked to her when in the group but didn’t really talk to her  privately .

'' What's phantom pain?'' Rachel had never heard of  it; she didn’t really look it up either so it wasn’t surprising.

''It's when you still feel your amputated limb, the doctor warned me about it and gave me a little mirror when she left. It was  supposed to reduce the pain.''

''Why didn’t you say so?'' Toni hadn't really paid attention to Rachel, she had mostly talked with Shelby , she was getting more and m ore  screwed every day here.

Martha shrugged.  ''I didn’t really think it would be important,  she gave it to me right before she left. S he said it was a possibility, not something that was sure to happen.''

''Fair enough, can I have the mirror?'' Getting rid of it as fast as possible would be nice.

''Yeah, sure let me get it.'' Martha walked to her sleeping place and pulled out a little mirror, it wasn’t big but big enough to hold her hand in front of it. '' Just out your other hand in front of it and your brain will think  it's your other hand and the pain will  go down.''

Rachel just nodded and went along the beach to a place where she could do it alone, it wasn’t night yet so she still had some light.

After some  time, the pain subdued and Rachel went back, they were all eating having sparred some food for her, she had more food  than everybody else but they talked her down from giving some to them saying that she needed  nutrition .


	7. Noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah things and Shelby and Toni have a moment...?

''So how does it feel to not have a hand, like how do you fuck?'' Fatin decided it was a good idea to turn the question into a n uncalled-for thing.

''Did you just  ask me how I masturbate?'' Fatin just nodded with a smile on her face. ''You are disgusting, I don’t know, I haven't tried.''

Fatin just hummed.

''Seriously why do you have to ask Fatin?'' Leah asked. Everyone was sitting around the campfire by now. Its day  forty-eight by now, they had a secure way of food, a female goat who gave them milk and they found another male goat, they just had to find out how to get them to make a baby goat. 

''I was just curious, leave me alone.'' Fatin put up her hands in  defense but the grin on her face was still there.

''So why  were we all send to the dawn of Eve?'' Shelby was  t rying to be a bit  more talkative; they didn’t know each other that much, now that they were here for almost at day fifty the search parties were probably done by now. They  weren't going to search for them. Search parties don’t last forever as Dot sai d.

'' Well, I exposed my dad for  cheating, and they send me here for punishment.'' Fatin thought it was simple, it was supposed to be a punishment. She could only hope that they regret it now , it sounds a bit  cruel, and she would never want them to think she was  dead, but karma was a bitch.

''They punished you for letting them know what your dad did?'' Martha  couldn't comprehend that parents would punish their chi ldren for exposing a cheater. Betraying and lying  aren't something someone should want to have as a partner.

''Yup, they said it was none of my  business and I would understand when  I'm older.'' It was stupid and her mom was probably in  denial .

''I'm going to take a walk.'' Rachel stood up, it wasn’t really a question if anyone would go with her, she would go alone. They all understood why she wan ted to be alone for a while.

''Well, my mom sends Toni and me here to get some realize, especially after what happened.'' It wasn’t  Martha's place to tell what happened. If Toni wants to tell the rest she will.

''What happened?'' Fatin asked looking at Toni.

''I got a bit out of hand, got mad and destroyed a car.'' Nobody questioned Toni further if Rachel was still  here, she probably would question Toni fu rther.

''What about you Dot?''  Fatin was  actually curious about why Dot was  sent on the plane, she wasn’t obsessed like Leah, she didn’t have rage  issues like Toni, she didn’t really  have any issues that they knew of that would cause her to be sent away.

''I'd rather not talk about it.'' Dot had a somber tone to her voice and her face wasn’t as happy as it was only a few moments ago so none of them pressed further, no t wanting to annoy or enrage Dot.

Over time they had learned not to press each other  boundaries , it was a weird feeling for them all, not questioning the other further when they probably  will be living together on this island for a while.

Leah still finds it weird that Dot doesn’t want to tell them why she's here, it might be  harsh, but she didn’t trust Dot one bit, she  could've just given a brief summary of her situation, as Toni did. She didn’t know if there were more people who are informers, Dot was with  Shelby, but they didn’t seem to know each other. Maybe she'll be able to ask Shelby sometime soon.

* * *

Toni and Shelby decided to walk into the woods to have some fun.

Shelby decided that she wanted to tell the rest of the girls, she didn’t know  when, but she didn’t want to do it just yet. Rachel was still grieving her  sister's death; it just wasn’t the right  time. Shelby knew of the saying that it was never the right  time, but this was a bad time to tell the girls.

They sat down against a tree, just sitting there while making out of course but who wouldn’t? At least Shelby thought so.

Shelby sat up on her knees straddling Toni,  hovering over  her with a shit-eating grin on her face. They didn’t have anything to do at the  moment, so they had some time.

''Oh come...'' Toni wasn’t very happy not having the ability to kiss Shelby, she kept trying but Shelby just moved out of range, it was so annoying.

''What?'' Shelby was acting innocent and Toni didn’t like it, the shit-eating grin on her face was so frustrating. ''Come on tell me, what do you want?''

Toni groaned in frustration, ''Just kiss me please?'' Toni tried to act innocent as well now, trying to  impersonate what Shelby had done.

''Of course,'' Shelby had slowly gained confidence and began doing more daring things every day. ''I mean I was hoping you would ask for more...'' The fucking little shit...  Toni both loved and hated Shelby's new-found confidence, it was hot as hell and Toni didn’t mind having to tell her what she wanted but she also wanted to get  that shit-eating grin  off of Shelby's face.

''Well, now you sa-'' Shelby thought it was a good idea to shut Toni up by kissing her, ''Why'd  you do that?''

''You were annoying, I asked you what you want and then you don’t say it.'' Shelby just wanted to know what Toni liked, she knew somethings from the times they did it  before, but she didn’t want to make a mistake.

''Okay I'll tell you, I'm horny now because of you and I want to get rid of it.'' Toni was getting  to dare now, and Shelby loved it.

'' Well, you should've just said so.''

They began kissing and Toni was about to remove Shelby's top when Shelby leaned back, ''What?'' Toni didn’t know if she made Shelby uncomfortable or what happened , ''Shelby are you okay? Did I do something wrong?''

'' No, you did nothing wrong I thought I heard something.''

''You want to check it out? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.'' The only explanation that it was either one of the other or an animal.

''mm-hmm''

They checked it out but didn’t see anything or anyone, maybe it was just a mishap, maybe she thought she heard something.

''I think I just heard  something; I don’t know there's nothing here.'' Shelby really thought she did, she didn’t know  exactly what she heard but it was something.

''I guess you were wrong.'' 

The mood they just had wasn’t there anymore  obviously, so they decided to head back, not wanting to alarm the others. They joked and talked on the way back to the beach, Shelby was so in love with Toni, she was fucked.


	8. Discoveries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really short. I know I haven't updated this in a while but I'm working on another fic and it's over 20 000 words by now, but I can't realize it yet so you'll have to wait.

Martha said somewhere on a rock, she didn’t really know where nor did she really care at the moment. 

She still can't believe what she saw, she thought, she really thought... 

Letting out a deep breath Martha tried to calm down before she was going to do something stupid or impulsive. 

She just walked into her two best friends making out if not almost doing something more. 

She wasn’t some weirdo that was going to watch or something so she left as fast as she could, but she still made noise and she knew it. 

She knew she was supposed to be happy for them and she was, it's not every day you see something like that form on an island in the middle of nowhere, but she was also mad, that they didn’t trust her enough to tell her. Martha knew it was stupid and that they didn’t do anything wrong, but they were here for fifty days already. 

She didn’t want to be mad at Toni or Shelby for what they did, and it was obvious that Shelby was dealing with some problems, but she still was. They shut her out, she noticed that Toni and Shelby weren't at each other's throats twenty-four-seven anymore, but she figured it was because they made some sort of truce not that they were sleeping together. 

Martha knew she didn’t have much room to judge since it was their lives and not hers, but she was still a bit mad. 

The more she thought about it the more her anger formed into disappointment. She wasn’t angry at them anymore, they probably had their reasons to not tell her what happened, but she was disappointed that they didn’t trust her enough to tell her what was going on, especially now that she considered Shelby a close friend. 

''What's holding you so down,'' Martha heard Fatin say from behind her, she didn’t know for how long she was here, so she figured someone had gone looking for her. 

''Nothing,'' It wasn’t any of her business to out Shelby and she wouldn’t do that. It doesn’t matter how betrayed she may feel she would never do that to Shelby. 

''Well, there is obviously something wrong but if you don’t want to tell me you don’t have to.'' 

Fatin had her eyes on Martha when Shelby walked by and even though Martha didn’t hate Shelby her expression did change a bit. Fatin figured what was wrong not long after. 

''You caught them?'' Fatin said. 

Martha didn’t make the connection instantly because she didn’t know Fatin knew about Shelby and Toni but when she was surprised at first before thinking about it. Fatin probably knew long before either of them knew what they were feeling. 

''Yeah,'' Fatin could hear the betrayal in Martha's voice, it wasn’t angry betrayal but sad betrayal, the kind of feeling you would get when you thought a person would tell you everything and was honest with you and you find out they hide a part of themselves from you. Fatin knew that feeling all too well. 

''There is certainly a better way of finding out...'' 

''How did you even find out?'' 

Fatin let out a little laugh, ''You remember when they came back with the lychees?'' Martha nodded, ''I approached Shelby because I had a feeling, I told her if she wanted to know how Toni felt she should go and ask.'' 

''THAT WAS OVER A MONTH AGO,'' knowing this made Martha even madder. 

''Sometimes people aren't ready to tell things to others, just don’t tell the rest okay? I'd rather not let Shelby go through that even if she can be annoying at times.'' 

Martha thought about it for a while before agreeing with Fatin, although she felt shitty, she shouldn’t take that out on Shelby or Toni. 

They decided to go back to camp since it was getting dark, and they didn’t want to miss out on dinner. 

''We should really make more huts; I don’t think people are looking for us anymore.'' Dot said while they were waiting for the fish to cook. Leah apparently checked the traps Dot made and found a fish in there. It wasn’t enough for all of them but luckily they still had lychees. 

''Bullshit!'' Rachel said, they all knew that Rachel wanted to get out of here and wouldn’t just give up, but they also knew that what Dot said was likely true. 

''How many should we make?'' Shelby asked. 

''I was thinking we should make four. It’s a lot but then two people could fit into each, they would have a little privacy and I think it would be nice to have some space, don’t you?'' 

They all agreed, even Rachel after some convincing, one person would have a hut to their own and they all agreed that it was best to give that one to Rachel. 

* * *

It was day 50 by now and Nora still hasn’t talked, she said some things here and there, but it wasn’t enough that they could use to get the others to talk. 

''You wanted to talk to me?'' Agent Young said when he entered Gretchen's office, she had asked to talk to him. He had no idea what she wanted to talk about and quite honestly, he was a bit scared. 

''Yeah, please sit down,'' Gretchen said pointing to the chair in front of her desk. 

Young sat down quietly, not having a single idea why he was here. 

''Nora still hasn’t talked as much as I want her too so I would appreciate it if you would talk to her.'' 

''Aren't you the one more familiar with her?'' Young didn’t even know Nora that well. 

''Yes, but she's closing up, she knows something is up with Rachel,'' Gretchen said, she was concerned that if she tells Nora about Rachel it would just work against her, not for her. 

''Then why don’t you tell her about what happened to Rachel? It would clear the air up and maybe she'll say something you can use.'' 

''I don’t think so, just try to talk to her.'' 

Young let out a sigh and went to leave before he asked his last question, ''Maybe you could try and let her go out a bit. Let her explore the place without having someone breathing down her neck.'' 

Gretchen nodded, agreeing with him. Nora might feel safer to talk with her when she is able to walk around without feeling hunted. 

Walking through the corridors alone Young had some time to think about everything. He helped people basically kidnap eight girls and put them on an island. Not to mention that one of them lost her hand. 

Now that he thinks back to it he should've never agreed to do this. 

''Hey, Nora?'' Young said sticking his head out of the side when he opened the door. 

Nora hummed, not knowing why someone was talking to her. 

''You're allowed to leave if you want to you know. I've noticed that you don’t leave this room.'' Young knows he makes it sound like something obvious, but it was clear that they both knew that Nora wasn’t allowed to leave before. 

He left right after talking to her, not wanting to make it feel like the only reason he was there to make her talk. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! I wrote this during class so it isn't that long but hopefully I can make longer chapters next time.


End file.
